she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
