I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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