great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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