the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
