it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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