does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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