Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
