now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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