He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
