I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
