Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
