yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
