you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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