honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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