D3 body, D1 cock
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
