On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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