Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you had me at cake vodka
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
