this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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