I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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