you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
