party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
