Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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