Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
