he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
