I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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