Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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