The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
