I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
