Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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