seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
