oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
