I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize