So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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