I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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