I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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