Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
