Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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