im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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