I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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