She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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