I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
