one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
