And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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