I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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