I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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