Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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