so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
