That's intense
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
