I think I died a long time ago.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize