Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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