Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
