i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
