I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
